Deadpool: The Game was announced by Activision at the weekend, but now it has been re-announced by...umm, itself.
Normally we'd rewrite something informative with a hint of comic relief, but Deadpool has done that for us, so here's the press release (although, if you were hoping for facts, bad news).
I know when I'm not needed.
I ANNOUNCE ME…(wait, no. how about…) WE ANNOUNCE ME…(but they don’t know who ‘we’ are) (okay then, maybe…) DEADPOOL ANNOUNCES DEADPOOL!!!(well, that’s just silly)
Sydney, Australia – July 16, 2012 – Hey suits, listen up ‘cause I’ve got some pretty sweet news to break. I, DEADPOOL, today announced that I’ve… (ahem…we’ve) …yes, right…WE’VE decided to make a kick-butt, butt-kicking new video game based on the awesome-ing-ist Super Hero ever known to man …(and woman, if you know what we’re sayin’) – starring yours truly, ME – DEADPOOL. I know, I know…I pee’d myself a little with excitement just now too (you call that ‘a little?’).
Some of you may know me as the Merc with a Mouth, (or the mercenary for hire) – what can I say; I have skills! (You know who else has skills?) High Moon Studios has skills, and I hired them to make my game, because they’re awesome, and so am I. But they’re not as awesome as I am, if that’s what you’ve heard. (Who’d you hear that from?) (Wait, listen…you smell something?)
Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah, ME, and my game DEADPOOL! With some cashola I ‘borrowed’ (ha!!! riiight…‘borrowed’) from Activision Publishing, Inc., (blah) a wholly owned subsidiary of Activision Blizzard, Inc. (blah blah) (Nasdaq: ATVI) (blah blah blah), and some of the big cheeses (mmmmm…cheeeeese) from Marvel Entertainment, my DEADPOOL game will feature all of my favorite things – katanas (check), big guns (and not just these amazing arm muscles) (check), crazy poop-your-pants action (check), hot chicks (check), maybe some of my X-MEN friends (well, depending on what they’re wearing), burritos, bouncy houses and of course ME!!! (check)(check) And check!
And now, a quote from me about my game:
"I, DEADPOOL, ‘hired’ Peter Della Penna and his physically embarrassing team at High Moon Studios for two reasons. First, because of their close proximity to Mexico so I can get fresh, authentic chimichangas delivered daily," said DEADPOOL, newly self-appointed Head of High Moon Studios, and Supreme Commander of PR, Marketing, Legal, and just about everything I want to be in charge of at Activision Publishing, Inc. "Second, if High Moon can make an amazing game about big transforming robots look cool, then they can surely make me look amazing in a third-person action video game, from all angles (seriously Peter…my bottom is my good side, so don’t screw this up)."
And now, a quote from that other guy at High Moon Studios:
"We weren’t actually planning on making a DEADPOOL game," said Peter Della Penna, formerly Head of High Moon Studios and now second in command. "But,
DEADPOOL came by the studio one day, said he was taking over, and that if I didn’t hire Marvel writer Daniel Way pronto and make the most amazing DEADPOOL video game, he’d break both of our arms and beat us to death with them. I have kids, so we’re making the game."
Speaking of ME, for your viewing pleasure (or other pleasure - hehe) check out this awesome teaser trailer and find out more information for my new DEADPOOL video game at this web thingy www.deadpoolgame.com, and be sure to follow me on what’s-yer-face.
By DEADPOOL